grocerylists.org

This being our 2012 Holiday Gift Guide

Bill Keaggy — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 19:14:24 +0000

Hey folks! Welcome to the 7th edition of The Grocery List Collection’s annual holiday gift guide. Good stuff for geeky people.

For the hungry gadget freak (we recommend this every year)

4-slot Egg & Muffin Toaster | “Make delicious egg-and-muffin sandwiches at home in about four minutes with this multi-function toaster. The appliance can toast up to four slices of bread, English muffins, bagels, or croissants, while it simultaneously steam-poaches eggs and warms pre-cooked meat. It can also hard- or soft-boil up to eight eggs at a time thanks to the included egg basket. In addition to heating up pre-cooked meat, the two included meat trays can be used to heat slices of tomato or pineapple to accompany toast or a breakfast sandwich — the options are endless.” Also available as a 2-slot. (4 slice: $98.99 / 2 slice: $53.56)

For the They Might Be Giants fan

TMBG Brand New Holiday Bundle | “For many years They Might Be Giants has had a holiday tradition of bundling together TMBG merchandise and offering it at near-impossible savings. This year we set out to make it extra awesome with a bundle of ALL NEW STUFF! Through November 19 (or until we hit 2500 orders) the 2012 Holiday bundle — a $90 value — will be available for just $45 plus shipping. That’s 50% off! Give it as a gift and surprise a friend, delight your family or just TREAT YOURSELF!” ($45.00)

For the meathead

Steak Button Thermometers, set of 4 | “Rare? Medium? Well-done? Use these inventive little steak thermometers in the oven or on the grill to determine your desired degree of doneness. Take the guesswork out of getting the perfect rare, medium and well-done by using these inventive little steak thermometers in the oven or on the grill to easily determine your desired degree of doneness. Stainless steel and glass. Wipes clean.” ($19.95)

For anyone even remotely creative or desiring to be

Steal Like an Artist | “You don’t need to be a genius, you just need to be yourself. That’s the message from Austin Kleon, a young writer and artist who knows that creativity is everywhere, creativity is for everyone. A manifesto for the digital age, Steal Like an Artist is a guide whose positive message, graphic look and illustrations, exercises, and examples will put readers directly in touch with their artistic side. When Mr. Kleon was asked to address college students in upstate New York, he shaped his speech around the ten things he wished someone had told him when he was starting out. The talk went viral, and its author dug deeper into his own ideas to create Steal Like an Artist, the book. The result is inspiring, hip, original, practical, and entertaining. And filled with new truths about creativity: Nothing is original, so embrace influence, col- lect ideas, and remix and re-imagine to discover your own path. Follow your interests wherever they take you. Stay smart, stay out of debt, and risk being boring—the creative you will need to make room to be wild and daring in your imagination.” ($8.76)

For the funny facts freak

Fred Equal Measure Measuring Cup | “Humorous yet practical measuring cup with 2-1/2-cup capacity features quirky measurement equivalents such as volume of T-Rex brain and 1000 corn kernels. Also includes standard and metric measurement scales on a tall laboratory beaker-style cup made of durable borosilicate glass. Heat-resistant, dishwasher safe.” Click through to see this up close! ($11.55)

For the lovers of low cost phallus shaped mixtures of mechanically separated pork, beef, chicken or turkey with have high sodium, fat, and nitrite content

Pop-Up Hot Dog Toaster | “The Nostalgia Electrics Hot Dog Toaster is a fast, fun and convenient way to enjoy hot dogs. This unit holds up to two regular-sized hot dogs and two hot dog buns at one time. A fun way for guests of all ages to enjoy delicious hot dogs, the Nostalgia Electrics Hot Dog Toaster is perfect for entertaining, as well as a quick meal solution. Now cooking hot dogs is as simple as making toast!” ($27.99)

For the Lovecraftian hot dog fiend

Cthulhu Roaster | “Cthulhu, a mythical creature entombed below the Pacific Ocean who has been a character in popular movies and video games, comes to life on your grill. Cthulhu weenie roaster made of 100% stainless steel.” ($35.00)

For the corny friend

Corn Poop Shaped Soap | “My corn poop is great. I leave it out on top of the sink when people are coming over. They usually scream when they see it. They yell things like “Oh my God there’s a turd on your sink”. It looks really real just like my own. I thought my corn poop soap fell off the sink once so I picked it up and found out it was really just that my dog pooped next to the sink. So I used my corn poop soap to wash my hands. I think its a good product.” —Amazon user Pittster ($13.96)

For the inefficient herb chopper

Herb Scissors | “Now you can prep fresh, chopped herbs in just seconds! These herb scissors feature a set of five, sharp, 3″-long stainless steel blades that allow you to cut, chop or mince herbs directly into a pan or over a plate for instant garnishing. Snip the herbs you need quickly, neatly and right where you want to. Plastic handles have a soft lining for the most comfortable grip. The included blade cover doubles as a cleaning tool.” ($12.95)

For the poor aimer

Over the Hill Potty Night Light | “The Over the Hill Potty Night Light is a perfect over the hill gag gift. With each birthday, more potty trips are made in the night which is why you need the Over-The-Hill Potty Night Light. Night time is trouble time for keeping a clean toilet and the surrounding area ‘drip-free.’ Fortunately, with our Over-The-Hill Potty Night Light your aim can improve markedly. See where you’re shooting without waking up your loved ones during late night bathroom trips. This neat toilet night light even features a glow-in-the-dark light switch and includes double stick tape to attach to the bottom of any potty lid. Batteries included.” ($8.11)

For anyone who is part of a business

The Connected Company | “Customers are adopting disruptive technologies faster than your company can adapt. When your customers are delighted, they can amplify your message in ways that were never before possible. But when your company’s performance runs short of what you’ve promised, customers can seize control of your brand message, spreading their disappointment and frustration faster than you can keep up. To keep pace with today’s connected customers, your company must become a connected company. That means deeply engaging with workers, partners, and customers, changing how work is done, how you measure success, and how performance is rewarded. It requires a new way of thinking about your company: less like a machine to be controlled, and more like a complex, dynamic system that can learn and adapt over time. Connected companies have the advantage, because they learn and move faster than their competitors. While others work in isolation, they link into rich networks of possibility and expand their influence. Connected companies around the world are aggressively acquiring customers and disrupting the competition. In The Connected Company, we examine what they’re doing, how they’re doing it, and why it works. And we show you how your company can use the same principles to adapt—and thrive—in today’s ever-changing global marketplace.” ($8.11)

For sophisticated country folk

Redneck Wine Glass | “Get your fancy drink on with the Redneck Wine Glass. A mason jar body held high by a thick glass stem holds a healthy amount of your favorite party juice. So roll out your Pabst cans, moonshine barrels, whiskey jugs and pop those suckers open! Drink anything from your new wine glass and everyone in town will recognize you’re Fancy. These glasses, much like your “jacuzzi-truck” are top of the line and sure-fire ways of making folks jealous. Get a whole bunch of these glasses and you’ll have the finest glassware for all your social events: weddings, birthday parties, hog roundups, cattle marches, and so many more. You can even keep your leftovers fresh since each comes with a mason jar lid. They are refrigerator safe but must be hand-washed. We don’t want you to break your wine glass stems and have to pull out the duct tape again.” ($12.99)

For the bike lover

Bike Taillight with Laser Lane Marker | “I purchased one of these about 3 weeks ago. The product does EXACTLY what it says it will do. A brilliant red laser beam is projected onto the street on both sides of your bike. As you move the light follows with you. The visual effect is so dramatic that cars and pedestrians immediately take notice of your presence. I even had a car pass me then pull over into a parking space to watch me pedal by him. People also will ask what it is that is projecting the light. The device is a solid electronic item that does not seem cheap or poorly constructed. The mounting bracket is very sturdy and holds the light firmly in place with NO shaking. You get a rock solid red beam on each side of you as you drive along. I would definitely recommend this item as a night time safety device as part of other lights both in front and behind. Great item and definitely worth the price. From a rider in PA.” —Amazon user Bob Jones ($34.99)

For the lazy couch potato who loves the Simpsons

Simpsons Duff Energy Drink | “This intoxicating six pack of Duff is not only legal, but vivaciously delicious! Each can contains 12 fluid ounces. This is an energy drink and does not contain beer.” ($29.20)

For the social, dinner, party, and alone drinker

Multi-Vitamins For Drinkers | “Drinkwel is the 1st daily multivitamin created specifically for healthy people who drink. Its ingredients replenish nutrients, support healthy liver function, help process alcohol induced toxins, and more.* Our 30-ingredient multivitamin was created by two UC Berkeley graduates and was formulated by two different doctors — a Ph.D in Biomedical Science and a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine. Loaded with antioxidants, amino acids, vitamins, minerals, and our proprietary Superfruits & Botanicals Blend, this is NOT your typical multivitamin.” ($39.95)

For the Earth, wind, and fire lover

Third Rock Outdoor Fire Pit | “The Earth and all its glory reveal a fiery inner core through the continents of our planet. The Third Rock Outdoor Fire Pit is a high quality, hand cut and crafted fire pit designed for years of heavy use. This is one of the most unique fire pits on the market. Every Fire Pit is individually signed and numbered by it’s designer, Rick Wittrig. Each Fire Pit is made from one quarter inch (6.35 mm) thick carbon steel. This is by far the heaviest gauge metal used in any fire pit available today. The sturdy construction assures you of having this functional art for many years to come. They have an iron oxide finish/patina on the outside which will darken a little with time then become permanent. The interior is coated with a high temperature resistant paint and has an 1-1/2″ rain drain in the bottom. This high quality fire pit requires no maintenance and has an overall height of 40″ and a diameter of 36″. Measurements may vary since each fire pit is hand made.” ($1,679.00)

For the coffee addict

Prescription Coffee Mug | “Sometimes a big, hot cup of coffee is just what the doctor ordered. The Prescription Coffee Mug looks like a huge prescription drug bottle, but the drug it’s designed to hold is caffeine. This handsome ceramic mug holds up to 12 ounces of coffee, and can be refilled without a doctor’s prescription. Comes in a fun gift box and very well packaged.” ($12.99)

And finally, for the people who are odd enough to appreciate this odd little digital web site — our very own analog book!

Milk Eggs Vodka: Grocery Lists Lost and Found | “This book is a compilation of abandoned grocery lists that have been discovered in grocery carts, market floors, and parking lots across the country. If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and, for most people, mayonnaise is very, very difficult to spell). Separated into chapters (funny lists, sad lists, unhealthy lists, organized lists) the book also includes commentary by the author and some very special recipes created from found grocery lists. Sidebars and food facts round out the menu.” ($10.19)

And if you don’t want that one, try my other book

50 SAD CHAIRS | “This is an awesome work by Acrobat / Photographer Bill Keaggy, who witnesses tired and tossed chairs in downtown St. Louis. Each image is a mixed bag of forlorn and funny, a veritable commentary on our culture of consumption (at least as it relates to chairs). Have a look. And you’ll soon notice: Sad chairs are everywhere. This book is a real treat. Your coffee table is longing for it. It’s a simple, well put together book that will inspire the artist within. A must have, would make a great inexpensive holiday gift. I have one for myself and have purchased this book for friends.” ($5.99)

There you go. Prices are accurate as of 18 Nov 2012. For more great gift ideas, check out our other GLC gift guides in the “related posts” links below.

And if this doesn’t interest you then just go check out the newest lists added to the collection.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Love,
The GLC Crew and keaggy.com

11 very interesting things

Bill Keaggy — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 02:16:26 +0000

This ain’t nothin’ but a collection of great stuff…

1. SILVER & GOLD: Spray Paint Your Food! “Silver pretzels anyone? Or perhaps a golden apple? There’s a new paint spray in town (well in Germany) and it’s totally edible! Called Food Finish, this apparently harmless (and tasteless) edible food varnish spray can make sparkling silver muffins to gold-coated steaks in seconds!”

2. MYSTERIOUS CIRCLES: Up first, Devour by Christopher Jonassen. Can you guess what these are? Look first and of you can’t figure it out the answer is at the bottom of this post.

3. INFLUENCE PEDDLING: How Whole Foods “Primes” You To Shop:

Have you ever been primed? I mean has anyone ever deliberately influenced your subconscious mind and altered your perception of reality without your knowing it? Whole Foods Market, and others, are doing it to you right now.

4. BAR CODING: A History of the Supermarket Barcode:

Thirty-seven years ago… a strange new computer technology entered the supermarket. On June 26, 1974, a white male by the name of Clyde Dawson entered Marsh Supermarket in Troy, Ohio. He loaded up his cart with groceries and approached the checkout line. The cashier that day was Sharon Buchanan. At 8:01 a.m., she picked a 10-pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit chewing gum out of his cart and scanned it. The gum has now been immortalized at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. That first scan signified a radical transformation of the supermarket, ushering in the era of the Universal Product Code (U.P.C.)—the nondescript, monochrome rectangle that adorns nearly every retail item we purchase. Today, it’s become a standard for consumer products in the electronic age.

5. UMBRELLAS!! “My new hobby is making creepy shopping lists and dropping them in random peoples’ baskets at Costco.” (Not me, btw.)

6. FOOD SUBSIDIES: A couple informative articles about food subsidies: A. The Inconvenient Truth About Cheap Food and Obesity (It’s Not Farm Subsidies) And B. Surprise! Subsidizing Healthy Food Helps Kids Lose Weight.

7. FEATS OF DARING: Returning Shopping Carts Like a Boss

8. QUITE OLD FOOD: Best Before: A man documents his 90-year-old grandmother’s pantry.

9. MAGNETIC LISTS: Shopping list magnets:

…magnets by Harrington and Squires allow a refrigerator to become one big grocery list while adding pops of colour to your kitchen. A fantastic London letterpress workshop, Harrington and Squires have recently added a set of Spice Magnets to their collection.

9. SELF-CHECKOUTS: Many groceries are rethinking self-checkout lanes:

Ten years after self-checkout lanes debuted in many American supermarkets, some chains are beginning to rethink the option. Beginning this month, Albertsons LLC is removing the self-checkout lanes in all of its 217 stores in seven states. As it remodels stores, Kroger has decided to consider the metro or Euro style of checkout lanes, with one customer line for multiple staffed express lanes vs. self-checkouts.

10. YUMMY DISHES: This recipe aggregator site is great: Check out Punchfork.

11. TASTY INFOVIZ: Finally… taste buds and complementary flavors (a visualization).

Couldn’t figure out what those moonlike circles were in #2? They’re frying pans.

This being our 2011 Holiday Gift Guide

Bill Keaggy — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 20:01:06 +0000

Welcome to the 6th edition of The Grocery List Collection’s annual holiday gift guide. Good stuff for geeky people.

For the hungry gadget freak

For the word game fiend

World’s Largest Word Search Puzzle Shower Curtain | “Sometimes buying a puzzle lover a gift can take a lot of figuring out. Do you like what we did there? Well look no further for this brilliant word search shower curtain is the world’s largest and so guaranteed to give them endless hours of fun. After all showers are pretty boring places and we need some way to entertain our intellectual selves. We should probably add a warning to this item though; if you get too engrossed you may end up shriveled like a prune. This vinyl shower curtain measures 72″ x 72″ and has a gigantic word search with over 650 movie titles.” ($19.95)

For the classy crafter in your life

Christmas Surprise Succulent Wreath | “This adorable succulent measures approx. 13 inches and features a colorful bird (choose your color) nestling her Christmas eggs and dainty String of Pearls along with beautiful succents such as Brown Bean, Jade, Pacyveria and various Sedum. Colorful picks of berries and apples add a touch of color. Switch out the picks during the year for Easter, Spring, Summer, Fall. This wreath is made to order and may vary slightly from picture. It will ship within 7 days of order and payment and will not be ready for hanging for two weeks from your receipt of wreath. (just in time for holiday decorating), or for the perfect gift!” ($48.00)

For the man who can should fix everything

Leatherman New Wave Multitool | “The most popular full-size Leatherman tool is now better than ever. Larger knives, stronger pliers, longer wire cutters and all-locking blades make the new Wave an essential piece of equipment for any job or adventure. The pliers have been redesigned to withstand more than double the previous squeezing load, and the new bronze bushing makes one-handed knife access a smooth operation — plus, the one-at-a-time blade selection function means that the tool you want is the tool you get. The versatile Wave comes with a durable and attractive leather/nylon combination sheath.” ($60.03)

For the Star Wars fan

Han Solo in Carbonite soap | “A mighty fine bounty for your bathroom! Each Soap in Carbonite is hand poured and then detailed with not two, but THREE pure, skin safe matte and metallic pigment depths. Extreme amounts of detail, including side panels. These are made one at a time with A LOT of love. There will never be two pieces exactly alike. Ever. Like little Carbonite snowflakes. …COOLEST SOAP EVER!! 100% Fragrance-free and ultra gentle on skin.” ($9.95)

For the person who really, really wants an iPad

Apple iPad 2 Tablet | “Two cameras for FaceTime and HD video recording. The dual-core A5 chip. 10-hour battery life.1 Over 200 new software features in iOS 5. And iCloud. All in a remarkably thin, light design. There’s so much to iPad, it’s amazing there’s so little of it. Surf the web, check email, watch movies, play games, and more. Have your favorite subscriptions delivered straight to Newsstand. Join the conversation with iMessage. And remember everything and anything with Reminders. With iPad, how you do things will never be the same.” (from $420.00)

For the person who’s not getting an iPad

Kindle Fire | “Movies, apps, games, music, reading and more, plus Amazon’s revolutionary, cloud-accelerated web browser. 18 million movies, TV shows, songs, magazines, and books; Thousands of popular apps and games, including Netflix, Hulu Plus, Pandora, and more; Ultra-fast web browsing – Amazon Silk; Free cloud storage for all your Amazon content; Vibrant color touchscreen with extra-wide viewing angle — same as an iPad; Fast, powerful dual-core processor; Favorite children’s books, graphic novels, and magazines in rich color.” ($199.00)

For your foxy geek girl

Touchpoint Women’s Solid Knit Gloves | “How smart are your gloves? Touchpoint™ gloves work on any touchscreen device keeping you warm while allowing you to use your electronic device! ” ($20.00)

For the no-so-great golfer

Lost Balls: Great Holes, Tough Shots, and Bad Lies | “A unique and colorful collection of photographs featuring the under-celebrated wayward shot, its landing locale and the unexpected encounters with wildlife on and off the green. Charles Lindsay has made a career of photographing the intersection of nature and culture. Whether living with a rain-forest tribe, exploring the world of fly-fishing, or turning the game of golf on its head, Lindsay has focused on our complex relationship to the natural world.” ($19.79)

For Chef Claus

Santa’s Glove Oven Mitt | “Neoprene oven mitt shaped like Santa’s glove made of 100% nylon (lining and outer front), 100% neoprene (outer back), and 100% polyester (trim. Use the black side of the mitt to grip hot items.” ($13.95)

For the fair weather griller

Cuisinart GR-4N 5-in-1 Griddler | “Compact in size but big in features, Cuisinart’s countertop Griddler offers five-in-one functionality as a contact grill, panini press, full grill, full griddle, and half grill/half griddle. The stylish brushed stainless-steel housing looks sleek and modern in the kitchen and features a wide panini-style handle and a hinged floating cover that adjusts to various food thicknesses. On the base, two temperature controls and a function selector are clearly marked and have indicator lights for quick reference and accurate, no-guesswork operation. Open the cover and customize the cooking surface with removable and reversible nonstick grill and griddle plates that snap in and out easily and drain grease to an integrated drip tray for healthier cooking.” ($92.10)

For the family member with whom you have a bone to pick

Full Disarticulated Budget Skeleton with Skull | “Full Disarticulated Budget Skeleton With Skull Item #: CHA5/1 Life-size, disarticulated adult skeleton includes 3-part skull, left hand and left foot on wire. Also available but not shown is our One-Half Disarticulated Budget Skeleton which includes the left hand and left foot on wire. Choking Hazard: Small Parts. Not for children under 3 years.” ($133.93)

For your fat-fingered friend

iPhone/MacBook Stylus | “Specially Designed for the iPhone Screen and new MacBook trackpad: In case you haven’t noticed the iPhone’s glassy touch sensitive screen is only sensitive to your stubby little fingers. This is because it uses a technology called capacitive touch which measures the flow of electrons through your skin. Problem is, last time we checked our fingers were pretty rounded and not too precise at picking out tiny URLs in Safari. Luckily the geniuses behind the Pogo iPhone Stylus have magically solved this problem by making a stylus that somehow tricks the iPhone into thinking it’s really a finger. What’s more, the tip of the stylus is a soft felt like material that has the added benefit of keeping your screen clean while you tap away. How do they do it? Frankly we’re not sure, but hopefully it doesn’t involve grave-robbing.” ($9.99)

For the sweet tooth

cakePops Holiday Assortment | “Special holiday cake pops to compliment your perfect party or get together. For a LIMITED TIME miniME Bakery on Etsy will be making these delicious holiday cake pops done in the flavors of the season: Dark Chocolate Peppermint, Tiramasu, Egg Nog, and Chocolate covered Salted Caramel…each bite is better then the last. This collection of cake pops are made with the best of the best, Belgium chocolates, Jamaican rum, Madagascar vanilla, dark chocolate covered espresso beans, and Fleur De Sel are just a few of the amazing ingredients that are in these out-of-this-world collection. This package is for 16 cake pops, four of each, and come individually wrapped and tied with ribbon. Sent in a beautiful red box.” ($40.00)

For your ADHD kids

Clubhouse Climber Inflatable Bounce House | “This Clubhouse Climber inflatable bouncer from KidWise is constructed of a durable 320D oxford nylon material. This bounce house features one internal two external slides, two climbing areas and a catwalk. Colors: Brown/grey/green; Inflatable bouncer with one (1) internal two and (2) external slides; Inside bouncing area is approximately 6 feet x 8 feet; Two climbing areas to get to each level; Catwalk that can also be used as a ball pit area to navigate through (balls not included); Combined maximum weight capacity: 500 pounds; Recommended for ages 3 years and older; Weight: 96 pounds; Inflated dimensions: 16.2 feet high x 16 feet wide x 9.2 feet deep.” ($602.10)

For the whole family!

Xbox 360 Console with Kinect | “The Xbox 360 4GB Console with Kinect. Kinect brings games and entertainment to life in extraordinary new ways — no controller required. Easy to use and instantly fun, Kinect gets everyone off the couch moving, laughing and cheering. See a ball? Kick it. Control an HD movie with a wave of the hand. Want to join a friend in the fun? Simply jump in. Wi-Fi is built-in for easier connection to the world of entertainment on Xbox LIVE, where HD movies and TV stream in an instant. Xbox 360 is more games, entertainment and fun.” ($299.99)

And finally, for the people who are odd enough to appreciate this odd little digital web site — our very own analog book!

And if you don’t want that one, try my other book

There you go. For more great gift ideas, check out our other GLC gift guides in the “related posts” links below.

And if this doesn’t interest you then just go check out the newest lists added to the collection.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Love,
The GLC Crew and keaggy.com

3,400 lists, a redesign, and a Kindle version of the book!

Bill Keaggy — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 04:49:34 +0000

Item of note #1: Do you know what January 12 is? It’s my birthday. But come 2012 it’s also the day that MILK EGGS VODKA: Grocery Lists Lost and Found becomes available in a Kindle version. Have it with you wherever you go. So awesome.

Item of note #2: Wow, there are now 3,400 lists posted here! That means we’re pretty much caught up on scanning and posting the lists we have. Three. Thousand. Four. Hundred. Lists. And largely, it’s thanks to you. Thank you to everyone who has contributed. Whether you sent one list, an envelope of them, or a big box of found lists, thank you.

Item of note #3: We just gave the site a facelift. The new design makes to easier to see the lists themselves, and the site now uses a responsive design making it look great whether you’re viewing it on a computer, a tablet, a smart phone, or another mobile device.

TV and radio and oddities

Bill Keaggy — Fri, 27 May 2011 18:01:06 +0000

Forgot to mention that I was on St. Louis Public Radio a little while back. Just talking projects and such. Scroll down; I’m segment 3. Oops, was on TV too!

So, now to the really important stuff…

This person made a chair out of a shopping cart.
Photos of Vintage Supermarkets, Grocery & Convenience Stores on Flickr.
Speaking of grocery stores, here are 6 subtle ways you’re getting screwed at the grocery store from the ever-fabulous Cracked.
And finally, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but what a horrible idea: Candwich Debuts: Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich In A Can.

Finally, we’ve added 600 new scans of found lists so now we’re only several thousand behind (although 2,900 are posted here). Links are in the right column.

The MILK EGGS VODKA lifecycle: Hardcover → Paperback → Video

Bill Keaggy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:16:36 +0000

So… I never made a video for the hardcover edition back in 2007, but since MILK EGGS VODKA has been re-released in paperback I figured I better get to it. This one’s an experiment in re-use. I edited public domain Prelinger Archive footage from 1950s educational videos, the soundtrack is a song written for $5, and the lists are from my collection. Watch it bigger at Vimeo.com or on YouTube.

About MILK EGGS VODKA: The book is a compilation of abandoned grocery lists that have been discovered in grocery carts, market floors, and parking lots across the country. If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and, for most people, banana and mayonnaise are very, very difficult words to spell). Separated into chapters (funny lists, sad lists, unhealthy lists, organized lists) the book also includes snarky commentary and delicious recipes created from found grocery lists. Sidebars and food facts round out the menu.

More info about the video:

Quite obviously this site right here, www.grocerylists.org, is the original project which turned into MILK EGGS VODKA
And here’s the book on Amazon
The story in the song is based on a promo site I made for the hardcover release: www.milkeggsvodka.com
The awesome song is by Israel279 which cost just $5 on fiverr.com
I used Prelinger Archives public domain educational films from the 1950s for the video footage
Here’s some background on how I used fiverr.com to make an entire CD of songs about other peoples’ grocery lists
And here’s where you can contribute your found lists!

So… check it out, buy it, borrow it, whatever. If you like it, please give it a good review on Amazon. And massive thanks to the hundreds of people who have sent in lists over the years — this is your project too, now!

Cheers,
bk

PS: This is not an April Fools joke.

The official soundtrack of grocery shopping

Bill Keaggy — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 16:05:36 +0000

Here’s a new project, based on an old project! I made a compilation CD of completely original music without singing or playing anything.

Each of these songs was written and performed by a complete stranger via fiverr.com, a web site where people offer to do things for $5. I took a bunch of them up on it.

I sent each of these fine folks a found grocery list (the list songs) or a link to the story I wrote at milkeggsvodka.com (the MEV songs) and asked them to interpret in their own way. It worked out pretty good — thanks to everyone who played along.

FWIW, I made about 20 requests and a little more than half delivered (you get your money credited back to your account when a transaction is cancelled). The ones who didn’t deliver came up with all kinds of serious excuses: I got the flu, I just moved, my camcorder died, my computer died, my friend died, etc. One person was good/blunt enough to simply say, “I don’t have time to do this.”

Anyway, grocerylists.org is proud to present the new musical masterpiece CD “Let’s All Go to the Grocery Store!”:

Cheerdealer: “The Official Milk Eggs Vodka Jingle” (the book)
Brodafin” “Spaghetti (List #449)”
IdiosyncraticAl: “Candy & Gin (List #1096)”
Israel279: “At the Grocery Store (MEV #1)”
Michiel: “Cupcakes (List #701)”
MD2020: “Times Is Tight (MEV #2)”
sam_ovp: “My First Shopping at Grocery Shop (List #382)”
Jeiji: “No Treats for Bad Dog (List #1648)”
Pablo Woodruffe: “Make Our Lists Forever (MEV #3)”
Taryn Parker: “Underwear and a Lemon (List #126)”
Stocking: “Hatchet & Sheath (List #407)”
Casey Smalley: “Everything is Gonna be OK (List #270)”

And it’s free! Here are a couple samples…

Jeiji: “No Treats for Bad Dog (List #1648)”
Casey Smalley: “Everything is Gonna be OK (List #270)”

If you’re wondering about the lyrics to the bizarrely entrancing track #7, here they are: My_first_shopping_at_Grocery_Shop.doc. ESL extravaganza! I do appreciate his effort and hope he put that $5 to good use.

You can find the actual lists linked above, if you want to know the specific inspirations for each track.

You can download the MP3s here. Get the cover art here. Released under a Creative Commons license.

PS: Look for my book MILK EGGS VODKA (the jingle song) to be re-released in paperback in April 2011.

UPDATE: The paperback is now available and here’s a video to celebrate.

The only resolution you need to make

Bill Keaggy — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 20:08:23 +0000

Repeat after me: “I hereby resolve, promise and swear that if I have not yet bought the now out-of-print hardcover edition of Milk Eggs Vodka: Grocery Lists Lost and Found I will buy the new paperback edition when it comes out on April 11, 2011.”

There you go. Your new year is sure to be excellent now. Although… now that I think about it, you also may want to start exercising more, drinking less, eating better and finishing all those projects you’ve been meaning to work on.

Same here.

Oh well, here’s to 2011!

(And here’s this year’s Top 10 rundown — Happy New Year!)

This being our 2010 Holiday Gift Guide

Bill Keaggy — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 17:03:01 +0000

Well hello! It’s that time again! Again! For the 5th time! The holidays have returned and grocerylists.org is here for you. Our gift guides are legendary… well, they are if you’re looking for cool, odd stuff. Or maybe they’re not legendary. Who cares. Here it is. Get shopping!

Not interested? Just head over to the newest lists added to the collection.

For McMuffin-loving geeks

4-slot Egg & Muffin Toaster | We always kick off our holiday gift guide with this. I own one, and it’s awesome. “Make delicious egg-and-muffin sandwiches at home in about four minutes with this multi-function toaster. The appliance can toast up to four slices of bread, English muffins, bagels, or croissants, while it simultaneously steam-poaches eggs and warms pre-cooked meat. It can also hard- or soft-boil up to eight eggs at a time thanks to the included egg basket. In addition to heating up pre-cooked meat, the two included meat trays can be used to heat slices of tomato or pineapple to accompany toast or a breakfast sandwich — the options are endless.” There’s also a two-slice/one egg model. ($57.53)

For the sugar addict

The World’s Largest Gummy Worm | “he World’s Largest Gummy Worm is 128 times more massive than a traditional gummy worm. Measuring twenty-six inches long and weighing in at approximately 3 pounds, the World’s Largest Gummy Worm is the most delicious 4,000-calorie candy worm in existence. Each World’s Largest Gummy Worm features dual flavors, a ribbed body, and a five inch girth. It makes an amazing gift for now or later due to its year-long shelf life. Handmade in the USA. Available in five flavor combinations.” ($27.95)

For “Bubba”

White Trash Cooking | “This is not a joke book or a parody. This is a warmly written, humorous, and quite serious cookbook filled with delightful traditional and unusual recipes. It includes wonderful photographs by the author of people and places and food all connected to his fondness and memory of growing up in rural and small town Mississippi. You may not be tempted to try every single recipe in this book, but you won’t be able to resist trying many of them!” ($13.57)

For thirsty Earth-lovers

Bamboo Bottle | “Finally, there’s a clean, safe and stylish bottle that is made from the practically inexhaustible resources of bamboo and glass. Bamboo gives our unique bottles style and strength. The glass guarantees safe, clean drinking at all temperatures, erasing the dangers of plastic water bottles. Whether you’re chugging ice-cold water or sipping on steaming-hot tea, this uber-cool bottle is BPA-free, ensuring no chemicals leach into your drink. To clean your insulated bottle, simply unscrew the bottom and the easy-to-tote top to remove the dishwasher-safe glass. To help clean the planet, simply keep using your Bamboo Bottle to hydrate instead of bottled water.” ($25)

For hungry kids, or kids-at-heart

LEGO Lunchbox | “Store your lunchtime snack in this lunchbox shaped like a LEGO block. In case you didn’t already know, LEGO is a Danish toy company that is known especially for its interlocking plastic building blocks. These building blocks are so popular that LEGO has, for all intents and purposes, become a household name. For many adults, LEGO represents a clear symbol of childhood lost. But the brand also has a chain of theme parks spread out all over Denmark, the UK and the US. This lunchbox is shaped like one of these legendary plastic building blocks. It’s available in red, blue, lime green and pink.” ($13.89)

For the hunter who never gets any tail

Deer Rear | “Looking for a little tail? FINALLY, there’s a butt worth kissing! No fear, the Deer Rear is here! Now, I know I’ve offered plenty of unusual gifty items before, but this one is surely to be dear (er, deer) to us hunter types. It symbolizes the trophy wallhanger that got away. You know… the one your macho hunting buddy almost bagged. Be creative. Have your mounted deer trophy on one side of the wall, and line up this baby on the other side to look like a full deer. Of course, the Deer Rear makes an unforgettable conversation piece for your den, deer shack, trophy gallery or the office. More: Real whitetail Rear is mounted by a professional taxidermist for long life. Approx. 12 x 12 x 15″ h. (size will vary slightly). Weighs 2 1/2 lbs. Has wall mounting hardware.” ($99.97)

For that special someone

Borat Mankini Swimsuit | “The Borat Mankini is the most fantastic clothing appliance to ever enter your life! You want to be sexy like Borat and charm even the most ugly of woman, then squeeze yourself firmly into Borat Mankini and prepare to make sexy time! We likeda the traffic stopping lime green Borat Mankini so much that we try to get it government policy to only wear Borat Mankini in local swimming bath men and women! Nice. Borat Mankini is made from finest quality stretchy stretchy material and leave not much to the imagination! A meshy panel in genital area of Borat Mankini keeps your khram-jewels safe and out of the way of bitey bitey wild dogs that likeda to roam free in Kazakhstan! One piece swimsuit Borat Mankini can be used for variety of fun activity but is most delicious when attending formal dinner party.” ($13.99)

For hot doughy action

NinjaBread Men cookie cutters | “they’re cut out for action! These stealthy warriors are set to sneak into your kitchen and stage a cookie coup! Cut, bake, decorate…and then watch them disappear! Ninja Bread Men are molded from rugged, food-safe ABS plastic and packaged in a colorful gift box.” ($9.95)

For a classic Christmas

The Original Christmas Classics | “Includes 7 Holiday Favorites: 1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Who’s got a nose for Christmas? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! Just in time for the holidays, here comes Rudolph in the most beloved special of all time! Packed with a sleigh full of memorable songs and unforgettable characters, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer lights up the hearts of young and old alike. 2. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town: Where does Santa’s suit come from? Why does he slide down the chimney? Why does he live at the North Pole? The answers to all these questions and the origins of our favorite holiday traditions are revealed in this delightful classic about Kris Kringle, the world’s most famous gift giver. 3. Frosty the Snowman: Look at Frosty Go! What’s become a bigger holiday tradition than building a snowman? Watching the original Christmas classic, Frosty the Snowman! Grab your scarf, bundle up, and get ready for the incredible adventure of a magical snowman who’s got enough personality to win over the whole family. You can’t go wrong with Frosty! Also includes Frosty Returns, Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, The Little Drummer Boy and Cricket on the Hearth.” ($12.99)

For stone-cold, gadget-loving dudes

Fleece Heated Jacket | “With these heated jackets, one layer is enough to keep you warm. Selecting the right jacket can be difficult. Choose something bulky, and you’ll end up sweating. Dress too light, and you’ll shiver when the sun goes down. Brookstone’s heated jackets simplify your choice. Made of lightweight, windproof fleece with three battery-powered heat zones, this jacket warms with the touch of a button for up to 5 hours per charge. It’s perfect for hiking, biking, golfing, outdoor events and more — or even just for when you’re keeping the thermostat low. Heated jackets use space-age technology to beat the cold. Using materials developed for the aerospace industry, our heated clothing uses lightweight carbon fiber bundles to provide heat in key body areas. The three-level controller enables you to instantly adjust the heat.” ($179.95)

For someone who just can’t stop writing on the wall

Chalkboard Wall Decals | “WallCandy Arts ChalkBoard Wall Decals go up in seconds and can be removed without damaging your walls so you can always have a place to write your thoughts, leave messages, drawings and ideas no matter where you are. Each kit contains four 19″x19″ chalkboard panels that can be used separately or combined for a large 38″x38″ chalkboard writing surface.” ($57.98)

For anyone!

Apple iPad | “The best way to experience web, email, photos and video. Hands down. All of the built-in apps on iPad were designed from the ground up to take advantage of the large Multi-Touch screen and advanced capabilities of iPad. And they work in any orientation. So you can do things with these apps that you can’t do on any other device.” More info. ($499 and up)

For anyone who wants a good laugh at others’ expense

Awkward Family Photos | “amuel Butler once said “Every man’s work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself.” If that’s true, than God help Mike Bender and Doug Chernack, who waded into the toxic slurry of bad mullets, spiral perms, skin conditions, leg warmers, wet pants, creepy Moms, funny uncles, and truly disturbing Santas, and came back with this hilarious collection of awkward family photos. Awkward Family Photos reminds anyone with a dusty shoebox full of snapshots of unfortunate fashion choices, band trips, braces, bad bridesmaids’ dresses and that one time you got talked into dressing up and going to the Renaissance Faire, that you are not alone. This isn’t just a book, it’s a public service on the page, a living, breathing, laugh-out-loud reminder that no matter how badly you dressed, how oddly you posed, and how weird Uncle Dave who lived in the basement was, somebody out there had it worse. Particularly the girl on page 77.” ($9.99)

For toy-loving technophiles

Transformer USB 2GB Flash Drive | “This is the coolest 2GB flash drive that money can buy. It folds flat or you can transform him into Ravage, the tiger-like creature in “Transformers 2, Revenge of the Fallen.” Works with all major operating systems.” Exclusive to FindGift.com customers is a coupon code for 10% off: findgift08. ($36.95)

For the natural Modernist, or a modern naturalist

Triple sea stone wall hook | “When there’s more to be hung, make sure you reach for one of these triple-stone wall hangers. Perfect for the sophisticated mudroom or entryway, these long coat hangers feature sea stones gathered from the shores of New Hampshire. The stones get their uniquely round shape from years spent in the ocean being tumbled with sand and waves. Each hook features copper hardware, a hardwood back, and a completely unique stone. The stones are functional as well as beautiful — their round shapes won’t deform coats or snag loose pieces of clothing as you walk by. Handmade in New Hampshire. For each stone “harvested” another rough quarry stone is “planted” in its place. In the same spirit, for each tree used for the backplates, ten times the number of trees are planted to conserve the future of our forests. Comes with mounting hardware for installation. Made in New Hampshire. Available with an ash (shown) or cherry (swatch) hardwood base.” ($175)

And finally, for the people who are odd enough to appreciate this odd little digital web site — our very own analog book!

And if you don’t want that one, try my other book

50 SAD CHAIRS | “This is an awesome work by Acrobat / Photographer Bill Keaggy, who witnesses tired and tossed chairs in downtown St. Louis. Each image is a mixed bag of forlorn and funny, a veritable commentary on our culture of consumption (at least as it relates to chairs). Have a look. And you ll soon notice: Sad chairs are everywhere. This book is a real treat. Your coffee table is longing for it. It’s a simple, well put together book that will inspire the artist within. A must have, would make a great inexpensive holiday gift. I have one for myself and have purchased this book for friends.” ($5.99)

There you go. Prices accurate as of November 21, 2010. For more great gift ideas, check out our other GLC gift guides in the “related posts” links below.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Love,
The GLC Crew and keaggy.com

Another 100

Bill Keaggy — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:49:08 +0000

Finally, finally, finally added a new set, Now we’re up to 2,300 posted lists (with just as many unposted).