“I am an anonymous cog on a very small wheel in the gigantic machine that is the UK retail sector. I work in an administrative capacity in the local outlet of a UK supermarket chain with national coverage and high (and positive) brand recognition. I work for and with fools, morons, cretins and idiots. Then I get dragged out onto the shop floor and have to deal with the customers … Some of this is rumour, some of this is speculation, some of this is innuendo. None of this is made up by me. Most of it is 24ct fact. Which bits? Probably, generally, the bits that seem likeliest to have been made up.”